So Hermes is farming crocodiles for purses.

http://www.reuters.com/article/GlobalLuxury09/idUSTRE5573QI20090608

How is this any different from packing a thousand head of cattle into stalls, force feeding them grain, and then sending out e coli burgers to hamburger joints? (I say this as a vegetarian who does eat meat, although I’m slipping tofu into recipes lately. It’s pretty good.)

I wonder if Pam Anderson has a Hermes bag. If the news reports were true, she had a car full of leather. And I’m always kind of surprised at the number of militant vegetarians who have leather in their lives. If you go veg, that really ought to extend to your Lazy Boy as well. Some cow died so you can plop your ass into a leather chair.

I have to remember this little fact: nearly half the population is below average intelligence-wise. In blunter terms, some people are just stupid.

PETA is a goof, but you have to admit they did a good job getting people to feel guilty about wearing fur. Worked on me. There was a time when I was saving for a luxurious sable coat from Russia. Then I stopped and blew it on something else and gave up the dream. I still sometimes dream of that coat.

No, not the tornadoes, but the way people get out and help their neighbors.

Here’s the caption on this picture, from the St. Louis Post Dispatch (Mascoutah, btw, is a small town in Illinois about an hour or so east of St. Louis)

JUNE 8, 2009 — Rodger Harris (right) is hugged by his sister, Lynnda Pruett, outside his home in Mascoutah after a suspected tornado ripped through the area on Monday. The winds from the storm blew over numerous trees on his property; one fell on this home, crashing through the roof and side of the house. Another tree crushed his pickup. No one was hurt during the storm. Harris has a large family in the area, and relatives quickly showed up to help with the cleanup. (David Carson /P-D)

I happen to be visiting the Belleville area and the tornado sirens went off twice. It didn’t get bad, but I did see the rotation in a cloud just to the east of us, which turned into one of a couple of tornadoes. Tornadoes suck balls, and I resent the hell out of the storm chasers (including Japanese tourists) who just chase them for fun and scream and laugh as if it’s a carnival ride as they film. These show up on You Tube, and I’d like to punch these people in the face. (As opposed to scientists who chase them for research reasons…even non scientists, if they aren’t having a grand time as people’s lives are being torn up.)

Just had to get that off my chests.

My favorite memory (of many) of neighbor helping neighbor: my (then) husband and I lived in rural Illinois, between the corn fields. Literally. We had a huge blizzard, and when you have a blizzard among the fields, you get these huge, wonderful drifts of snow. But they block the road and you’re snowed in until it melts. (I miss that too.)

So we tried to get to town and of course got stuck in the drift on the road. Before we could even get out of the car and figure out what to do next, Mr. Smith, our farmer neighbor had fired up his tractor and was headed out to pull us out of the drift.

We always felt he had been watching us, two crazy kids, and was just waiting for us to get into the drift. He had his tractor keys ready to go.

And he had the best herd of cattle, too.

I’m thankful nobody was hurt today, as far as I know. Tornadoes suck balls.

Why do I have the feeling that the loons have changed their mind about waterboarding? I wonder how many are wanting this guy waterboarded…and for the record, I wouldn’t care as long as it’s equal opportunity waterboarding.

WICHITA, Kan. — Abortion providers say that threats of more slayings from a man accused in the shooting death of a high-profile Kansas abortion doctor proves the existence of a “violent, terrorist movement” coalescing around the issue.

Scott Roeder called The Associated Press Sunday from the Sedgwick County jail, where he’s being held on charges of first-degree murder and aggravated assault in the shooting death of Dr. George Tiller last week at the doctor’s church in Wichita.

“I know there are many other similar events planned around the country as long as abortion remains legal,” Roeder said. When asked by the AP if he was referring to another shooting, he refused to elaborate.

Because I think it’s important to take notice of cases that typically are ignored by the mainstream media, here’s a nod to St. Charles, Missouri resident Andrew Cole. He’s among those arrested, and deserves some attention. (Along with the rest of these alleged scumbags.)

St. Charles, Missouri, home of Andrew Cole, is a suburb in St. Louis County, Missouri. Although Andrew Cole wasn’t arrested in St. Charles, Missouri, he’s been arrested as part of the slavery case. I bet you thought slavery ended. Not so. But it’s not an issue that celebs care about, so you don’t hear much about it.

On that note, Danny Glover will be in St. Louis to protest the execution of some guy, blah blah blah.

And while I’m at it, here’s a five-star review to “Taken,” a movie I watched over the weekend. Great flick. The character played by Liam Neeson - he’s a real man. We need more guys like that. Fantastic movie, not enough in-your-face ugliness about the creepiness of slavery in today’s world. People need to have this shoved in their face before they’ll give a damn.

However, the ick factor was high when a “pure” girl was about to be molested by a Saudi shiek. That’s the kind of thing Andrew Cole of St. Charles, Missouri takes part in, assuming the lowlife is guilty. (And I assume he is.)

Hat tip to Debbie Schlussel, who never shuts up, never backs down and never bothers with politically-correct tidiness. God bless her for it.

This isn’t even an admission of a guilty pleasure - it’s the confession that I wanted to see a train wreck.

And I’m satisfied.

I watched the show “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!” last night on DVR. Once again, I sing the praises of the best invention since the Concorde (come back soon, my friend), the DVR.

This show was horrible. I’ve only heard of a couple of these “celebs.” Sanjaya, Stephen Baldwin and Lou Diamond Phillips. Oh, and my reason for watching: Mrs. Patti Blagojevich, the former first lady of my great state of corruption, Illinois.

She delivered! (But I had to fast forward through nearly two hours worth of crap to get to the meat.)

The show is ridiculous and no point in wasting time on it other than to say: I like this Frangela duo. Never heard of them, but they’re saucy. I like saucy.

Mrs. B finally, near the end of the show, finally spoke about her husband’s legal and political woes. It’s all a plot by his political rivals. Um, okay. Yeah, yeah, I know. Innocent until proven guilty. Unless you’re a politician from Illinois. Then you’re guilty unless you’re Jesus Christ. Because that’s just how the game is played in my state. Every Illinoisian who isn’t in a coma knows it, although I can’t blame anyone for playing ostrich.

Non-Illinoisans now see Illinois as a big fat joke, and can’t say I don’t blame them. (Except oddly, one citizen is able to float above it all…let’s see how long that lasts with Bob Woodward on the case. I have a feeling he’s going to be the first member of the mainstream media to finally break the spell.)

But back to Patti. Boo hoo. I LOVED IT. She even cried. Rod must have been so proud. Now I’m kind of aggravated at the judge who denied Rod’s petition to leave the country and go on the show. I would have actually enjoyed calling the number and having him dunked in a tank of snakes or whatever it is you do on this show. (Something about phoning in, because every “celeb” wears a shirt with a phone number.)

So Patti gives her boo hoo story of everybody out to get my pure saint husband. And then the “celebs” chimed in, with one nobody saying he would have voted for Rod for president. (WTF?) And another said that after all, the PEOPLE voted for Rod TWICE.

Disclaimer: yes, I voted for him twice, and I revoke my votes. So don’t count me in, and I’m betting I’m not the only citizen who would take back a vote if we could.

It was just this great big wreck of deliciousness with Patti doing the boo-hoo show and the celebs saying you poor dear, we love Rod. God bless you all. And then some of them DID pray. LOL.
Mr. Baldwin wisely kept his mouth shut. (I believe I saw a smirk.)

I’m going to suffer through this show (with DVR assistance) for these little tidbits of Patti. I’m imagining our former joke of a governor on his couch, with a brat in his mouth, his eyes growing misty with pride.

The only thing that could make this better: give this woman a shirt with a scarlet A and put ILLINOIS in great big letters. Let’s show our state pride!

Thoroughly condemns today’s killing of this abortion doctor. (For the record, I’m pro choice myself, but fully respect the views of those who believe abortion is murder.)

Tiller’s family is grieving. Those who have jumped to score political points before Tiller is even buried are no better than the Phelps family thugs of the “Westboro Baptist Church” who respect no bounds of civility.

Beautiful.

I’ve been busy all night, but always make time, no matter what I’m doing, to listen to a favorite radio host on Sunday evening. It was pure agony.

I have no problem with the fact that said radio host is very pro life and doesn’t mince words. I’m past the point of arguing abortion. (And selfishly, beyond caring that much about the issue like I once did. I just find other issues more important.)

Normally, I wouldn’t even care that she (radio host, not Michelle) would condemn this Dr. Tiller, whom I’d never heard of, for his bad deeds of doing abortions (and apparently late term ones). But tonight wasn’t the night to rail against his actions. Save it. Find someone who isn’t dead to bitch about….a few months from now.

It was horrible to listen to, because words rang in my head. All of this talk over the last few years about so-called moderate Muslims who say “we condemn terrorism….but….” you basically all deserved it, so what do you expect? But we love peace, Islam means peace and we don’t support terrorism, even though you deserved it.

That is exactly how this sounded tonight, and it just felt like all of that “where are the moderate Muslims who will outright condemn terrorism and not end with a string of buts?” went flying out the window.

Too much about what a bad person this Tiller was, and how dare he for even going into a church. (He was murdered in his church?) I wonder if Dana will listen to the show tomorrow and think “Could I have possibly worded this in a more appropriate way?” And maybe I’m wrong. But I don’t think so - the rest of the conservative pundits I’ve read/heard tonight (not many, because it’s Sunday) have done as Michelle has: just plain condemned it, the end.

Oh, the how dare you go to church Dr. Tiller was because he’s a horrible baby-murdering man. Or was. And then Dana went on about all of this is in the Bible and so on….and I kept thinking of the lessons of Jesus. Cast the first stone and glass houses and all of that.

This just did not go over well with me on so many levels and I needed to get it off my chest. Even when I disagree with Dana (and I do at times, although sometimes I don’t), it’s fine. Difference of opinion and nothing wrong with that. But this was just way over the line and left me with grit in my mouth.

Finally, there was a call from a woman who claimed to be a 14-year-old girl even though she sounded 34. She said her mother was an Obama lover and loved abortion, and she, the girl, was pro life and when she saw this on TV, that the doctor was killed, she began to laugh. Her mother walked by and said “What’s so funny?” And the “girl” replied this abortion doctor had been gunned down. haha. The mother scolded her, and the daughter gave Mom a lecture on abortion is murder.

Besides not sounding 14, I’m very skeptical that a young teenager would take an opposite view on abortion from a parent’s position. That’s just not the usual thing (unless it’s a rebellion issue). Kids at that age don’t have the experience or wisdom yet to realize their parents don’t know everything, especially about current issues. At 14, most kids parrot their parents’ views. It would be very unusual, IMO, for a “girl” to take such an opposite view of her mother. (The whole thing just reeked of bullshit.)

Dana ran with it, although did say she wondered if laughing wasn’t a bit too much, but otherwise, good call, thanks for calling! I guess that’s going to hit YouTube tomorrow if it hasn’t already. :::sigh:::

I hope I’m wrong, but nothing about that call seemed legit. Nothing.

So it was the first show that I really wish I had missed.

BTW, my life has been crazy busy and just crazy crazy. Not posting because no time and people are either dying on me or being sick or having a crisis. I want my life back.

Soon.

I lived on the edge of the Shawnee National Forest (god I miss you so!), and some people moved in across the road.

Cast of characters:

The granny, who had no teeth and a lot of very long whiskers on her chin
Her daughter-in-law whose name I’ve now forgotten. She had pretty red hair, was 28 with three kids, and also, NO TEETH. (Hello Appalachia, she was from the hills of Tennessee.)

Three tots, ages three to seven or something. Forgot the younger two names, but the oldest was Lil Bubba. He mowed the yard barefoot and in winter, those kids would climb my big fence (uh….) and I felt sorry for them and gave them hot chocolate, which was dumb, because they kept coming back for more.

There was a father, Bubba. Bubba was granny’s son. He was off in prison for sex offenses. He had the sex with a minor, who was also his first cousin (this is a very true story). When I expressed horror, the toothless wife said (add an accent even hicker than mine) “She wannnnnnted it.”

Um, Mrs. No Teeth, your husband cheated on you, and he did it with his cousin. That’s nasty.

But she lurved him and forgave him and waited for him to get out of prison. And one day, she excitedly told me….Bubba was coming home.

But since Bubba was a sex offender, he couldn’t be in the same abode with his children at night, so they hauled in this beat up old trailer and stuck it in the back yard. It was lovely. Really added to the property values of hicksville. (which was not a town, but in the country, so who cares, right?)

I tried to hide out, but she caught me and invited me to Bubba’s big exciting homecoming. I was friendly with the kids and the mom (she was actually very sweet and a good neighbor to have, and the kids were also very sweet and well behaved), so I couldn’t say no.

First, before the big party, she (wife whose name I forgot) came and got me so I could meet prodigal Bubba.

We climbed the metal, rusty stairs of this trailer, and there he sat, in a Lazy Boy in the middle of the room. He had a large belly and was wearing no shirt and a fly was sitting on his belly. He held a beer. He was actually very polite and I did my best not to retch or be rude.

The party. Meemaw made a welcome home cake, and when I walked in, two kittens were walking across the cake, leaving little kitty prints. Now, I love cats and animals, but not as a cake decoration. I had to pretend to eat cake, while taking tiny bits and stuffing it in my purse.

Cut to a few months later. I was polite to Bubba, because he was married to my friend with no teeth, and he was always polite to me. However, I never forgot that the dude was a perv.

So I encountered some trouble with a man who decided he needed to date me and I had said no thank you. Bubba came over, after learning of my difficulties, and said “Come to my trailer. I want to show you something. I’m going to take care of you and you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

So I followed, and he led me into the bedroom of the mobile, pulled out a big box from under the bed. He removed the lid, and inside, a cache of guns. Shotguns, and all kinds of guns. He said “Don’t tell anyone, because as a felon, I’m not allowed to have guns.”

Dude, why show me these???

But he wanted me to know he was armed and ready to shoot anyone who tried to hurt me.

You know what? I appreciated that, and I knew he was sincere. I decided to forgive him for being a perv, and put my safety into his hands and his cache of illegal weapons.

Viva la guns, and viva la Big Bubba. I had no more trouble from that person, and for that, I thank Bubba.

I wonder whatever happened to the family that I always called “The Bubbas.”

The mentions of the Bubbas in the earlier post reminded me of the Bubbas I once knew.

I rarely read those forwarded emails, let alone send them on, but this was too good. At least for a true Illinoisan. Most of them, I was like “Um, yeah, so what?” Esp. on the Dairy Queen. Don’t all Dairy Queens shut down for winter??? Maybe not?

The snow ones, not so much. That’s for the northerners. The part of the state I’m from, not much snow. In fact in St. Louis (not Illinois, but we share the river, and it’s an Illinois thing only a native can understand), they start shutting down schools with one flake. I’m not making it up. If Kent says an inch of snow, you can be sure the bread rows at the store are wiped clean.

Completely different world in Chicago, where they do get lots of snow (the only thing in Chicago I ever coveted, otherwise, Chicago can go to hell).

What’s wrong with measuring distance in hours? Yes I do. Is that unusual???

I’ve never worn a parka and shorts, but I did a naked snow angel once. I also used to wash  my car naked. (I lived in the country down our own long farm road, and could hear a car coming a mile away, so was very safe. My [ex] husband also used to pay me to do it, so was mad money.)

I’m going to tell my famous Bubba story next.

Tony did not find these funny at all. Also, I’ll add that apparently in Chicago, people don’t eat pork steaks on the grill. WTF? My cousins, who live in Chicago (poor things), take coolers of pork steaks back with them in summer. How can you grill meat and not include pork steaks??? (Unless you don’t eat meat, or pork, then that’s fine.)

> *Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois:*
>
>
>
> If your last governor is headed for prison and the governor before him is
> already there,
>                                *You might live in Illinois .*
>
> If your latest US Senator lied to get the job,
>                                *You might live in Illinois ..
> *
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
>                                *You might live in Illinois ..*
>
> If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don’t work
there,
>                                *You might live in Illinois .*
>
> If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
> forehead,
>                                *You might live in Illinois ..*
>
> If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>                                *You might live in Illinois ..*
>
> If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
>                                *You might live in Illinois .*
>
> If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
> wrong number,
>                               *You might live in Illinois .*
>
>
> *YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Illinoisian WHEN:*
>
> 1. Vacation means going north or south on I-55 or I-57 for the weekend.
>
> 2. You measure distance in hours.
>
> 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
>
> 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
>
> 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
>    without flinching.
>
> 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
> weddings).
>
> 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> unlocked.
>
> 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.
>
> 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
> 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> snow.
>
> 11. You know all 5 seasons: *_almost winter_*, *_winter_*, *_still
> winter_*, *_road construction_*, &
>      *_It’s Hot_*.
>
> 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
>       blue spruce.
>
> 13. Down south means Missouri to you.
>
> 14. A brat is something you eat.
>
> 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. (Bubba
> throws a HELLUVA Pole party)
>
> 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday. (Y’all must really
know
> my neighbor, Bubba)
>
> 17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>
> 18. You find 0 degrees a “little chilly.”
>
> 19. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
>      Illinois friends. (What’s not to understand?)

I think it’s fantastic; the First Lady is starting a vegetable garden, and the bounty will not only be used for the First Family, but surplus will be donated to a nearby soup kitchen.

I also read they’re getting a beehive to make their own honey. That sounds like fun, something I would try if I ate honey. (I don’t dislike honey, I just don’t eat it because I rarely make anything sweet and I don’t sweeten my tea/coffee. On oatmeal I either use Splenda or apple juice and applesauce.)

I wonder if the garden will be organic. Given the Obama’s love for green, it absolutely should be, and they really ought to make a nice, big compost pile. I’m 100 percent organic and very passionate about it, but not militant. I have no beef for gardeners who prefer Miracle Grow and Sevin. It’s a choice.

Organic gardening is certainly a lot more time intensive than sprinkling a can of Sevin on everything.

But I hope they enjoy the garden and give regular updates. I’ll be interested to see what they grow and if the girls enjoy it.

I knew it had to happen. In so many ways, people’s actions are too predictable.

The fuss between Meghan McCain and Laura Ingraham (and others) has given the left something to dish about. By the way, every person who attacked Meghan McCain with an insult about her appearance, her voice, her clothes - basically anything but her substance and political views - ought to be damned ashamed.

But here’s where it gets good. I’ve read a number of columns now (from the left) where they’ve said oooh, the right is eating its own. They’re criticizing Meghan McCain’s appearance; so typical of the right, they’re all just catty bitches.

THE LEFT DOESN’T DO THAT! WE’RE BETTER THAN THAT.

Yeah, I said that, too, when Ann Coulter came out with a book that charged the left did exactly that: they couldn’t argue on substance against strong women (the Laura Ingrams, Coulter, Michelle Malkin, etc.), so they go after appearance and other superficial things.

Oh, I said THAT’S NOT TRUE. Ann is so wrong.

Turns out Ann was absolutely dead on. And I’ve been horrified ever since. So every time someone from the left travels down that ridiculous road, I squirm, because Ann Coulter is floating above me saying “Told you so.”

I used to listen to Randi Rhodes; now not so much because I got bored. So maybe she’s cleaned up her act, though I doubt it. Just google her name with any of the lady stars from the right (Malkin, et al). I’ve heard her say horrible things about Coulter. Far worse than the thing Ingraham said about McCain (though I’m not excusing Laura…that was unnecessary and petty).

I’ve also heard nasty comments about appearances about Condoleeza Rice, Malkin and Ingraham, among others, on some of those TV shows by lefties.

The things that have been said are far more offensive than BO’s Special Olympics quip. At least he meant no harm. Try Rosie O’Donnel. Try the ladies from the View. I don’t watch that show unless there happens to be a guest I really want to see (such as Ann Coulter…hahaha), but I’ve seen it enough to get the gist. Whoopie seems to be the only one with a calm head on that show. (I could be wrong, and she could be as bad as the rest of the gang; perhaps I’ve always tuned in on nice days.)

The point is, I listen to a lot more conservative radio than I do liberal, because that’s what’s out there. I’ve always liked talk radio on in the way that people keep the TV on. As I work all day, I have the radio going. (Music carries me away. Talk radio doesn’t, and I can stay focused on work…it’s just the way I’ve always been.)

So I think I have a pulse on what’s being said on mainstream talk radio. I listen regularly to these women (and others, including Tammy Bruce, who rocks). For the most part, they go after political views and not appearances. The Laura Ingraham thing was so unusual that I posted about it when I heard it because it so greatly disappointed me.

What I say to the left is this: get off your high horse. You’re NOT any more tolerant, any better, nicer, more intelligent than the right. There was a time when I had my head in the clouds, too, and really believed (we) were. It was a huge slap in the face to come to grips with the fact that Ann Coulter was absolutely right.

And if you need further proof that the left is just as intolerant as everyone else, see if you can go to Michelle Malkin’s site for a few moments (without bloviating that you’re walking through a sewer or another non-brilliant metaphor). Find her section where she lists samples of hate mail.

Tolerance? Open-mindedness?

The words cunt, chink and slant eye are used most often.

When these things come from people who are trying (not very well) to express disagreement with her views on things like homosexuality, it’s rather telling.

Once I was able to step back from the left and stop viewing everything with glazed-eye love, it became one of my great disappointments to see how they (we) really are.

And here’s what I’m most certain of: every person who blogged or wrote a column about how petty women on the right are should read through his/her archives. I’ll bet at least 90 percent at some point criticized one of these ladies’ appearance, ethnicity, or clothing.

Of course my favorite of all time was a NY Senator’s big attack on Ann Coulter. At the end of his rant, he said she wore miniskirts.

I don’t remember the exact quote, but it was fantastic. How dare that Ann Coulter wear a short skirt!